Where Sadist Unite

Expressive, Emotive, Honest.
Saturday, May 11, 2013 11:56 AM Nothing stays the same . ♥ Hi people ! Ok so Saturday was great i suppose :) met my homies at town and with manisah to teman me on the way home hmmmm and it ended off .... Pretty well with an on the phone session with qt ☺ But yknow , i feel ...... Like everything's different now . Though after the really tough period when i felt like i was losing him , he came back . We started talking progressively . But ..... It doesn't feel the same . The on the phone session was great . But the excitement i used to feel when i see his name appearing on my phone ..... Depleted . I don't wanna make myself seem too needy or clingy but i just needed an assurance . How was i supposed to know if he wants me to keep trying or he doesn't care . What if he layan me out of sympathy ? A million things went through my mind but hey .... I don't have enough courage to say it out. What if he thinks i'm crazy ? I'm out of my mind to think that a charming super adorable and mature guy like him would want a girl like me ? Always dwelling on her insecurities and just .. Never good enough . " why won't you move on ? " " there's sooo many other guys out there ? Why hurt yourself ? " Oh no hunn . You people know nothing . He's not typical . He taught me how to pull myself back from the person i really really want . He taught me so many valuable lessons . Although now , i don't even know what kind of state we're in . 5 months .... And i'm still clueless . Aliff would u enlighten me please ? I just need u to tell me so that i would freaking understand . Other than that , i think i'm okay with my life now . I have a feeling that i've changed . I'm become more ignorant . I don't really care anymore about what anyone has to say about me . Alright sweethearts :) that's all for now . Goodnight xx AF <3 Thursday, May 2, 2013 5:51 AM Guess I'm blogging again? ♥ SO , Diyanah told me that she stalked me once which my last post was 2 years ago . HAHAHAHA CHRONIC SIAL TYPING OMG i am darn embarrassed .. Though it's okay .. I've learnt to type better, in a more ... civilized manner . Hahahaha . And so i thought that blogging wouldn't be such a bad idea after all , since recently I have been having difficulty trying to figure out a place for me to drown my sorrow . Have you ever felt like suddenly , everything crashes down on you ? Like there was no one around you , to be there for you . I don't mean physically , i mean like in a sense where you can't trust anyone and all you have is , YOURSELF . At the age of 16 , I'm already feeling exhausted of life . Is this how it was supposed to feel like ? Or am i the awkward one ? So many things have happened for the past 2 years . Those i claim my " Bestfriends " back then are now just .. Friends . Lesson learnt : Everybody Will Change . It's just that we do not know when , where , how or why . I've learnt to just go with the flow . There is always a reason behind whatever that has been happening . " Friends Come & Go . Family Don't " - My Sister We all know there's some truth behind what my sister said . No matter how much you keep claiming that you HATE your family , you know there's nowhere else more comfortable than what you call 'Home' . Despite all the setbacks for the past few years , there's a very important value i've learnt to cherish which is the people who stayed throughout your ups and downs . Appreciate them while you can , before it's too late , when there's no point in uttering words of regret . I have got to agree that i;ve changed drastically though . I became a little more ignorant because i felt Tired . Tired of caring too much , yet nothing works out just the way you want it to be . So , remember how i mentioned that i have learnt to ' go with the flow ' ? I was too tired to try . When i try , it has never been sufficient . Now , i TRY when it's worth it . I don't really say much about what has been going through my mind . But trust me , A LOT of things i think about at every point in a day ... though i know nothing much can be done to change anything . I have never wanted anyone as much as i wanted YOU in my life , but you come and go at many times .. i wonder if you're ever going to stay in my life . I admit , i'm obsessed and it hurts how we haven't been talking now .. Honestly , i tried . Remember how i called you a couple of times to check on what you're up to after the day i bailed on you ? Your reply was just , cold . My hopes crashed to pieces . Have you wondered how long i took to gather my courage ? I have NEVER tried this hard because i've always put my pride first before anything else . Remember those late night conversations , over the phone , wake up calls , random calls , weird messages ? It meant alot to me . Everytime i get so insecure thinking if i would ever be good enough for you . Insecure of the gorgeous girls you talk to . I kept thinking of the chances being with you . I wish to make everything up to you . But, I don't have enough courage to even text you . I'm dying to talk to you but , is it the same for you ? What if i'm annoying the hell out of you ? Enough for tonight . Goodnight . AF ♥	It's Impossible, I am who i am. I don't see a need for me to act like somebody else to be happy, i blog to express Glorious day every 0309, since 1997. Currently in Woodgrove secondary <3. Loving my babies , ♥4Express3♥ Insta : @RaiKxtty Twitter : @RaiKxttyPerry I'm in lovewith "?" I'm in lovewith Sarcasm & Ignorance . And, abit of Annoyance. They're famous, like obviously you'll know who they are I'm a die-hard fan of White, Pink and Purple. Not much of Black. Chocolate and Cheese are my two best friends, they're always by my side whenever I need them. My greatest enemies are Liar, Backstabber, Hypocrite and Nag. I hate them alot. World would be such a better place without them all. For I have many secrets to tell you. That I am ; Pink ranger by the day \| Veronica Mars at night \| and I am Raifana since I was born. I'm your heroine. With Loves, Elmo Spongebob ILOVE AF ♥Serena♥ ♥AliahSyazana♥ ♥Wannadiah♥ ♥Jingmin♥ ♥Sofifi♥ ♥Diyanah♥ ♥Megawati♥ ♥Phoebe♥ ♥4Express3 Babies♥ Materialistic, Click for my wishlist!
Still you , ♥AF♥